


Matchmaker -  Vignettes

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2004-07-22
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5933338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those whom Dumbledore decide should be together darned well better get with the program.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Albus Dumbledore sighed deeply as he sank back into his desk chair. He deeply regretted the last half hour; he truly wished he could make the morning's events vanish.

He liked and admired Remus Lupin; he'd been a fine boy, and had become a fine man. He would miss him, the students would miss him, and the school would be weakened by his loss. Remus had been a fine teacher.

Not every wizard proficient in fighting or defending against the Dark was capable of teaching. Lupin had been. He'd made DADA the most popular class in the school, and, more importantly, he'd brought the students up to grade level in less than a year. He would be hard to replace. If he could **be** replaced.

And what would he do now? Go back to his parents cottage? Most likely. He could at least support himself on the small farm, and continue his research. He would have to see what he could do to further it. Perhaps a Ministry of Magic grant?

Damn Severus! Despite all he had been through, was still going though, with the Voldemort debacle, he'd not yet conquered jealousy or the desire for revenge.

Unsatisfied desire - and it **was** desire, not love - could twist a man, cause him to hurt what he most wished to possess, and that was what Severus had done this morning when he "accidentally" revealed Remus' lycanthropy to the student body.

Actually, Dumbledore considered, he really didn't think it was necessary for Remus to leave. He was most likely over-reacting. On the other hand, he'd had the impression that Remus truly **wished** to leave. Perhaps to follow Sirius?

Loathing and desire, two extremes Severus had been unable to reconcile for as long as Dumbledore had known him. He doubted Severus ever **would** be able to reconcile them.

It didn't matter anyway.

Remus Lupin had only had eyes for Sirius Black from the time of their first meeting as First Year Hogwarts students. The shy young boy, seriously out of his element and unable to believe anyone would want to be his friend, had taken one look at Black and handed him his heart. That quickly a fledgling bond had been born. Remus never looked at anyone else after that.

Remus had been deliriously happy when he found out Sirius returned his love. They'd had one good year together after graduation. All to soon, however, Sirius, for some reason, lost faith in Remus and left him. Two years later came the murder of the Potter's, and Sirius incarceration in Azkaban.

So, Remus lived alone for fourteen years.

Dumbledore smiled. Perhaps there **was** something more he could do for Remus. It wouldn't be the first time, he'd actively encouraged Black in his pursuit of him.

He doubted very much that Sirius realized Remus still loved him, or that he'd remained faithful - out of conviction as much as from natural constraints - during Sirius' imprisonment. They'd not had time last night for any personal issues.

First he'd check with the Station Master in Hogsmeade to find out just where Remus planned to go, then he'd bid Remus a last goodbye.

**Then** he had a letter to write.

As it was quite important to say just the right thing, in just the right way, he began to draft the letter in his head first.

Dear Sirius,

I really think you should get up to Pont du Lac this summer...


	2. Doubt

It is so **easy** to doubt a werewolf.

I doubt myself.

I thought taking Severus' potion would allow me to become...more human, more trustworthy. Instead it made me careless. One moment of...terror? delight? and I forget the full moon, I forget the potion, I forget those I may harm, I rush off...

Ultimately, what did I accomplish?

Nothing.

I have lost my position here - the only job I have ever held, a job I have learned to love passionately.

I have lost Albus' trust, as I knew I would, for my lack of honesty about the Marauders.

I have lost the trust of the other instructors, even Hagrid and Minerva, as, of course, I should for endangering the students.

I have lost the respect of my students. Or, rather, those students who did not already despise me, as Malfoy's friends do, for my lack of background and money.

All of which I rightly deserve.

The look of fear on their faces last night, the betrayal they felt, is seared into my soul.

I must never forget I am a Dark Creature, not human, a danger to all I love.

I may look human on the outside. I may fool them for awhile, but sooner or later I slip up, as I must have with Sirius, and they leave, as **they** must, for their own sake.

I was so **good** while it lasted.

I shall never have children of own. James boy, and his friends, filled that empty longing for a little while. Perhaps they shall forgive me some day, for my deception.

Hermione...she actually trusted me, for a short while. She knew about, yet she trusted me, as James and Sirius ( I shall not name that other) did, until, like them she realized how wrong she was to trust a werewolf.

Oh, she listed other reasons, but in the end it was the fact I am a werewolf that caused her fear and broke her rust.

And Ron - the fear and loathing on his face. I shall never forget it. I broke **his** trust, as well. The professor he trusted to help him became more dangerous than his abductor.

I could have killed them all in my carelessness.

Even Sirius.

Look at me. I'm shaking.

Oh, god, I touched him last night, for the first time in almost fifteen years.

I hugged him. He let me call him friend.

We almost had him, Peter. We could have cleared Sirius' name.

I ruined all that.

Harry would have been able to live with Sirius. He could have gotten away from the Dursley's...

I know why Albus wants him there. He's protected by blood, but surely the protection of a sworn godfather would have been nearly as strong. That's a sacred blood oath!

And perhaps, I could have visited...

I love him. I love him so much, and I have missed him so fiercely for so long.

Even now my body remembers his kisses, his touch, the way his hands could drive to frenzy.

I remember the way his body felt within me, moving, giving me pain and pleasure and ecstasy.

Giving me joy.

My heart remembers how good it was to rest securely, knowing one person would always love me, always believe in me.

I lost all that long ago. I was unworthy then, as I am now.

As I proved last night.

Those things are for humans.

But maybe, if I try very hard, he'll let me be his friend. Perhaps he'll let me fight with him.

I won't ask much, just to be near him, to...touch him in friendship sometimes, to talk to him.

he needs someone to watch his back. I could do that.

I won't let memories get in the way.

When he finds someone else...I'll be happy for him. I will.

He needs someone to love him, care for him. He's been through so much.

I just want to do that for, for a little while, if he'll let me.

I love him so much.

Where is he?


	3. Longing and Remorse

The cold night air rushed over and around him, chilling his tired body. A good thick traveling cloak would have been nice about then. The only places he was warm were the parts touching Buckbeak. He'd forgotten how warm a hippogriff could be.

Of course, a few other places were warm, too.

His groin still throbbed every time he remembered Remus hugging him. As revenge ridden as he'd been, it was all he could do not to clear the Shrieking Shack's bedroom of Peter and the others and throw Remus on the musty and rumpled old bed. For a split second all he'd been able to think of was pulling off Remus robe and reacquainting himself with that beautiful body.

He'd missed it.

He'd given it up, of his own accord, for two years. Two long years, thinking, because of Severus and his plots and lies that Remus had been unfaithful to him, that he'd gone over to Voldemort.

Because he'd been wrong, because he'd never **talked** to Remus, because he'd believed the evidence of his eyes, because he'd forgotten Severus was a master at potions, forgetting just how much Severus hated **both** of them, James and Lilly had died, Harry had been orphaned, and thirteen Muggles had died.

He himself had spent twelve years in Azkaban, bitterly regretting his idiocy, missing Remus, afraid for Harry.

Remus would have been alone, believing himself deserted by his lover, unwanted, mourning the loss of his friends James and Lilly, but thankfully never knowing that James had persuaded them, too, that Remus was a traitor. He would have mourned Peter, thinking him a hero, not knowing him for a traitor, and unaware that he could be the next target. 

He would have believed that everything he'd ever known or experienced with Sirius had been a lie. He would, as Sirius later learned, have been unable, because of his nature, to ever take another mate, bound by his nature to a man who he believed hated him, a man who would spend his life prison. 

Shuddering from remorse as much as the cold, Sirius put those thoughts aside. There had been a time when he'd not have cared that Remus would be alone, a time when he'd passionately believed Snape's lies. Even when he'd realized that **Peter** was the traitor, he'd believed Remus had betrayed him with Snape.

He'd believed it, that is, until a he'd been in Azkaban six months and a werewolf had been brought to the cell beside his.

He'd listened to that wolf for six months; six months hating that werewolf, that man, because he'd reminded him of Remus betrayal. There'd been six months of listening to pain-filled cries of loss, agonized screams of pain through the changes brought on by the full moon, mindless random sobs as nightmares were relived for the benefit of the

Dementors.

Six months, and then one day a group from the Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Law Enforcement had appeared along with legal representatives from the Non-Human Civil Liberties Union and the Association for Equal Rights for Magical Beings. Following behind them was a squad of Para-Healer Wizards and Witches wearing the uniforms of St. Mungo's. Behind the Para-Healers was a large group of angry Dementors.

The group of Law Enforcer took care of the crowd of Dementors, for which he'd been grateful. Any respite from their presence was a miracle for which to be truly thankful. His relief had been so great he'd nearly missed a most interesting, and painful, conversation.

"Sodding idiots! I can't believe they put him in here, Hengist!" (Angry)

"I know, Anna, I know, but we're making progress. There was a time when no one would have notified us of the poor guys presence, much less would the ministry give us escort. It's getting better, truly." (Soothing)

"Not fast enough!" (Snapped)

"Still, we're getting there, Anna! Think of all the poor creatures who used to be simply put down - though that had to have been better than putting them in here, filthy place that it is." (Soothing again)

"I agree." Forcefully. "How's it going in there guys?" (Inquiring)

"Damned Azkaban guards! What do they know or care about anything! Poor creature's half starved, he's dug himself to pieces, he's got infection everywhere..." (Angry and disgusted)

"Can you get him prepped? Quickly? I want to get him out of here before the Enforcement team has any more trouble with those thrice damned Dementors." (Anxious)

"No problem. I just want to get him cleaned up a little, and this potion down his throat." (Confident)

"Do you think they can do anything for him?" (New voice. Hopeful)

"Sure. St. Mungo's come a long ways. We've got that whole new wing, now for the care of Magical Creatures. This won't be the worst werewolf we've brought in." (Confident again)

"No, it won't. This is shameful. Poor fellow should never have been brought in here. Damn prejudice has been making them hide themselves. If we'd only known. I we could just get them to register, but no... they're too afraid." (Discouraged)

"Do you you blame them, Sol? Hand me that dressing, will you? Damn, look at that gash...heartless jerks! They throw them in here and forget about them. No, not that one, the 4x4. Yeah. After all, it hasn't been so long since they'd have been killed out of hand just for existing! As if they **wanted** to go were!" (Preoccupied)

"I know, I know. But...tape that edge down, will you... what did this guy do? Nothing the rest of us wouldn't do if our husband or wife, or in his case, his mate, were to die, only in this guy's case, 'cause he's a werewolf, and the guy down the street hates him because he's afraid he'll lose his wife will to him 'cause she's always thought the guy was sexy, he calls the Guards and tells them there's an out of control werewolf loose. So now **we've** got to deal with a half-dead, half-crazy werewolf with a shattered life-bond. (Disgusted)

Doesn't that idiot **know** his wife is safe? Werewolves mate for life? First partner, **last** partner, **only** partner. Idiot, This guy's gonna be alone for the rest of his life, however long that's going to be. (Disbelieving) 

"Calm down. It'll drive you nuts if you let it. Tell those legal eagles out there we're about done, will you?" (Soothing)

""Sure. I'll be glad to be out of here. I hate this place." (Still disgusted)

"Me too. Did you know Black is in here someplace? On this corridor, I mean?" (Inquiring)

"No! Really? I'm glad we didn't come past him. He must be further down. Here. Tape that line down, now that he's quiet. It's about time that potion worked. Too bad we aren't allowed to do spells in here. They'd be a lot quicker." (Intrigued)

"Mmmm. Seems like this takes forever. Grab that, will ya?" (Non-committal)

"Black was mated, you know." (Confiding)

"Huh?" (Unsure)

"Black was mated. To that tame werewolf of Albus Dumbledore's. Lupin, his name was." (Confiding, again)

"You're kidding! Lupin? A last name like that, and he's a werewolf? (Unbelieving)

"Yeah. I guess its not really common knowledge, but it's no big secret. Here, you get that end, Ill take this. Yeah, they were mated, but Black left 'im. I was on the team that brought him in for questioning under veritaserum, right after Black killed the Potter's. Poor guy." (Confiding, again)

"How could Black do that? Leave some he's life-mated to? Didn't he know he could have killed Lupin? All right. Done. On three. One...two...three. UP!" (Disbelieving)

"Probably didn't care. Why would he. Look what he did to his best friend. Careful there. I'll go first." (Offhand)

The voices faded as the group left the cell and went back down the corridor.

Black almost gave up fighting against the Dementor inspired despair after he heard that conversation. He realized he'd blown it, big time.

His Remus hadn't been unfaithful to him. According to the Para-Healers he **couldn't** have been. Snape must have done **something** , which meant Remus hadn't been a traitor, either.

A little late for the realization, though, wasn't it.

He'd spent eleven more years regretting his mistakes.

And plotting revenge.

Sirius looked back on that time as the most painful part of his imprisonment up until he realized Peter would be at Hogwarts with Harry.

And Remus.

He'd found out about Remus appointment as DADA instructor at Hogwarts from Cornelius Fudge at the same time he acquired Fudge's newspaper.

Peter - endangering the lives of the two people most dear to him - even if they didn't know what they meant to him.

And, oh, hadn't it just ended **fine**!

Remus, off in the woods, still thinking he meant nothing to him, yet still daring to call him friend.

Harry stuck at the Dursley's again.

Himself - freezing to death fleeing into the night in no particular direction, on the back of Hagrid's condemned pet hippogriff.

Life certainly took some strange twists.

At least Remus and Harry would be safe at Hogwarts. He wouldn't have to worry about them being alone, defenceless. He wouldn't have to worry anymore about Remus' being able to support himself.

At least he could write to them.

Sirius smiled dawn was breaking. Maybe things would work out after all.


	4. Make Me A Match

Albus Dumbledore sank into his armchair and brought his feet up onto the hassock. He closed his eyes and snorted. He was really getting too old for all this.

Damn stupid fools, Sirius and Severus.

Of all of them - Potter, Evans, Lupin, Pettigrew, Black and Snape - most people would have picked Lupin, without hesitation, as the emotion one. Those big eyes, sensitive features, quiet, kind nature and slight stature seemed to brand his as the 'sensitive one'.

And you'd have been wrong. 100% wrong.

Oh, he was sensitive and emotional, all right, but the boy had control. More control than he'd ever seen in anyone. He'd had to develop it - he wouldn't have survived, otherwise.

Made him a darn good wizard, too.

No, the emotional one was Black. Black with his height and strong physique, his brilliant mind and his alpha male manner.

Sirius tended to lead first with his heart, then his muscles. His mind was a poor and distant third.

Unfortunately, Snape was another one just like him.

Damn fools.

He'd finally gotten the complete story from both of them. Oh, separately, of course, and he'd had to translate it all. Figure out the actual events from the warped perspectives.

He didn't feel sorry for either of them. Not at all, though both of them felt they were the injured party.

No, he left sorry for Harry and Remus. And James and Lily, of course, though they were long past the need for his sympathy, if not his mourning.

If Sirius had only learned to trust where he loved, and to use that mind of his for something more useful than...

If Severus had only learned the meaning of "No!". or the difference between list and love.

Both of them so melodramatic and, in an odd way, self-centered.

No control.

Dumbledore shook his head and sighed.

Damned fools, and so was he. The past could not be changed for all his regretting, but the future could.

Severus might learn a few things while on his 'errand'. He certainly hoped so; the 'errand' was dangerous enough, he should at least profit from it.

And Sirius...well, he under orders to stay with Remus.

Dumbledore smiled. Oh, **that** would be an interesting reunion. Sirius staying away from Remus for another **year** because he was ashamed of himself and what he'd believed. Allowing Remus to continue to think he was unloved and unwanted. Idiot.

When would he learn to communicate!

He have to visit them in the summer. Perhaps the end of the summer.

Remus would need a month or so to straighten Sirius out.

He chuckled. Definitely, he would need to visit.

Matchmakers needed to check out their work, after all.


End file.
